July 3rd, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Here’s another very effective technique. Anytime someone challenges your abilities, especially your abilities to do your business, what’s your immediate and instinctive reaction? To prove them wrong! Try politely expressing your concerns about your proposal and then watch the results. For example, if you said to a supervisor, ‘‘I’m not sure you’re able to get those reps of yours producing, so I may hire a consultant.’’ Don’t worry, that guy will be on it, pronto! Or when you say, ‘‘You probably don’t have the authority to pull this off,’’ the prospect will make sure to show you that he does indeed have that power! When employing this technique, however, be careful to avoid damaging the ego. When you cause damage instead of producing a challenge, you will create an air of indifference from your prospect.
Another challenge to someone’s ego is commonly used by sports coaches in a team environment. When during football practice a player is not putting in 100 percent, is late for meetings, or keeps making the same mistake, the coach has a perfect ego-based solution. He brings the team together and explains exactly what has happened with that particular player. He then has the whole team, except for the guilty player, run laps. This punishment is a challenge to the ego of this football player. Such a situation only has to happen once to be persuasive for each member of the team. Of course, the technique also works if the player also has to run with the whole team, but having him watch magnifies the results.
There are many challenging messages geared toward our egos. Think of a multilevel marketing meeting, where managers say they are looking for ‘‘go-getters’’ and ‘‘people who can take action.’’ Or what about a teacher who tells the student, ‘‘I’d like you to do these advanced assignments’’? I have seen sales representatives make a subtle attack on the prospect’s ego when they were not getting the sale. They simply say, ‘‘I guess you don’t have the authority to make that decision.’’ You should see the egos take action! Another example is giving people credit for things they don’t even know. When you give people credit for knowing something they really know nothing about, they generally will say nothing and allow you to believe them to be smarter or more aware than they really are. The catch is that they then will try to live up to the undeserved credit that you have bestowed upon them in order to lead you to believe they really are smart. You have heard such phrases as, ‘‘You probably already know. . . .’’ or ‘‘You will soon realize . . .’’ These are direct challenges to our egos.
Respond Instead of React
In persuasion, we are faced with the difficult task of building the egos of our listeners while placing our own egos on hold. In order to effectively persuade, you have to let go of your ego and focus on your objective. You don’t have time to mend a bruised ego. Check your ego at the door and remember your overriding purpose. Focus on persuasion, not on yourself.
[6]Maxwell and Dornan, Becoming a Person of Influence, p. 43.
[7]Science Newsletter, April 16, 1949.
[8 ]K. Erickson, The Power of Praise (St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1984), pp. 79–80.
Taken From : Maximum Influence : The 12 Universal Laws of power Persuasion
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June 30th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Diane’s Story
Diane Pozniak, a fifty-four-year-old divorced woman, worked during the day and took classes at night with the goal of obtaining a business degree and advancing her career and financial situation. She was not doing well in her classes and felt that it was because her memory was not good. She feared that these memory lapses would make it impossible for her to pass the required courses to complete her degree. On the other hand, she had no problems functioning at her day job as an
administrative assistant. Her concern about memory loss arose from the fact that her mother had died of dementia in a nursing home, and Diane was worried that she had begun to get a similar illness.
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June 27th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
We all have an ego, and at times a very fragile one. We all yearn to feel important. The ego, or the individuality of each person, demands respect, wants approval, and seeks accomplishment. Deep inside every man and woman is a desire for importance and approval. This ego of ours can cause us to act illogically and destructively, or it can cause us to act nobly and bravely. When our ego is starved, we seek nourishment for it in any way we can get it. Feed the hungry ego and it will be more persuadable. This hunger is universal; we need our ego fed on a daily basis. We have to have an affirmation every day that our worth as a human being is still intact and that we are appreciated and noticed. After analyzing many surveys, Researcher J.C. Staehle found that the principal causes of dissatisfied workers stemmed from the actions of their supervisors.[6] Those actions included the following, listed in the order of their importance:
Failing to give employees credit for suggestions
Failing to correct grievances
Failing to encourage employees
Criticizing employees in front of other people
Failing to ask employees their opinions
Failing to inform employees of their progress
Practicing favoritism
All of these causes are related to a bruised ego. This is unfortunate because studies show that employees are most effective when they are recognized for their efforts. Psychologists at the University of Michigan found that the foreman of a construction crew who is interested in the people working under him gets more work out of them than the bossy type who tries to force them to work harder.[7]
In an interesting study, school administrators sought to find the ratio of positive to negative statements overheard in the schools’ faculty lounges. Thirty-two schools throughout the nation were visited. Now would you be more likely to assume that there were more positive or more negative comments? Negative? Well, you’re right, but you may not realize how right you are. Researchers were shocked to tally up the statements and find that the ratio was 6 percent positive statements to 94 percent negative statements![8 ]This is certainly a startling result for those of us who find ourselves in positions of leadership.
When you find yourself in a persuasive situation, it is essential that you seek to enhance your prospect’s ego in some way. Too often we present ourselves in a manner that instills feelings of threat, competition, jealousy, and mistrust. When enhancing someone’s ego, be sure your praise is sincere and genuine. When we solicit someone’s cooperation, everyone wins. For example, what happens when a sales associate tells a woman she looks great in the dress? The woman changes back into her original outfit and heads straight for the register! She feels great and the associate gets her sale. Or how about when the lady in shipping says she can really tell you’ve been working out? You do your ‘‘Can you tell?’’ expression, and then the next thing you know, you’re helping her carry boxes. You get to bask in the glory of someone announcing that they think you look strong, and then you’re extended the opportunity to demonstrate your power and might.
We can all learn from General James Oglethorpe’s example. The general desired King George II of England’s permission to establish a colony in the New World. Yet none of his arguments or presentations, no matter how carefully crafted, won the king over. At last, the general had a brilliant idea. He proposed that the colonies be named after the king. Suddenly, the general had not only permission, but abundant financial means and even people to help populate the new colony of Georgia.
There is a particular set of ego rules that should be employed when dealing with a superior. If you are trying to impress your boss, you should approach it differently from how you would handle an employee. Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents. Otherwise, you might accomplish the opposite of what you hoped for by inspiring fear and insecurity. When a student outshines the master, there is a blow to the ego. The master wants to appear more brilliant than the student.
Taken From : Maximum Influence : The 12 Universal Laws of power Persuasion
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June 24th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
The brain needs the same nutrients and vitamins as the rest of the body; it just needs a lot more of them. There is evidence supporting the use of antioxidants like vitamin E, and to a lesser extent vitamins A and C. One or more of these essential vitamins is a must in any program to prevent memory loss. One note of caution: these antioxidants are true long-term prevention agents and not quick-fix therapies.
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June 21st, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Pride is the exact opposite of self-esteem. A prideful person gets no pleasure out of having something, but only out of having more of it, better or bigger than someone else’s, or something that no one else has. It is the comparison that makes you proud, the pleasure of being above the rest. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no lasting joy or fulfillment in pride. Peace and satisfaction will never come because the looming possibility of something or someone bigger and better coming along will always exist. One relishing their position at the top of the hill can never rest easy for too long.[4] Pride is a false sense of accomplishment because it is not based on true or pure motives. As C.S. Lewis observed, ‘‘Pride is a spiritual cancer; it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.’’
Pride is being secure in and taking pleasure in external things like possessions, degrees, influence, or position. People who have too much pride constantly compare themselves to others in an attempt to help them feel better about themselves. They love to gossip and pull others down. They are always concerned about who is right instead of what is right. They have a scarcity mentality that there never is enough for everyone. As Stephen R. Covey wrote, ‘‘An abundance mentality springs from an internal security, not from external rankings, comparisons, opinions, possessions, or associations.’’[5]
Self-esteem and pride are actually opposites, even though the terms are commonly thought to be interchangeable. Pride is usually a red flag for low self-esteem because people use it to cover their weaknesses and insecurities. People afflicted with pride usually have a low opinion of themselves. They often will bully or berate others to feel and manifest their own self-importance. With self-esteem, there is an internal security about who you are. You are fine with what you are and what you are doing. You like to help others and are not concerned with what people think. You like to lift others up and enjoy an abundance mentality.
Notice the comparisons between the two attributes:
Pride
Self-Esteem
External security
Internal security
Scarcity mentality
Abundance mentality
Comparisons to others
No need to compare
Value in possessions or positions
Value in self
Tears others down
Lifts others up
Concerned with who is right
Concerned with what is right
[4]Stephen R. Covey, Principle-Centered Leadership (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1990).
[5]Ibid.
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June 18th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Stories are powerful tools for persuaders. Compelling storytelling automatically creates attention and involvement with your audience. We can all think of a time when we were in an audience and not paying attention to the speaker. We were off in our own world when all of a sudden we perked up and started to listen because the speaker had begun to tell a story. We sat up, listened attentively, took note of what was being said, and wanted to know what would happen next. Whenever you sense your audience is starting to wander, you should have a relevant story ready.
Notice I said ‘‘relevant.’’ You can capture attention by telling a story but you will lose long-term persuasiveness if your story does not relate to you or your topic. When your stories work well to underscore your main points, your presentation will hold greater impact. Remember, facts presented alone will not persuade as powerfully as they will when coupled with stories that strike a chord within your listeners. By tapping into inspiration, faith, and a person’s innermost feelings, you will cause your prospects to be moved by your story.
Stories can be effectively used to do any or all of the following:
Grab attention and create involvement
Simplify complex ideas
Create memorable hooks
Trigger emotions
Tap into existing beliefs
Persuade without detection
Bypass existing resistance to you or to your ideas
Demonstrate who you are
Build interest
Encourage participation
Stories answer questions in the audience’s mind about who you are and what you represent. If you don’t answer these questions for your listeners, they will make up the answers themselves. Your audience members can tell from a story whether you are funny, honest, or even whether you want to be with them. Remember, building rapport is a key ingredient for persuasion. Since you usually don’t have time to build trust based on personal experience, the best you can do is tell your prospects a story that simulates an experience of your trustworthiness. Hearing your story is as close as they can get to the firsthand experience of watching you in action.
Taken From : Maximum Influence : The 12 Universal Laws of power Persuasion
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June 15th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Vitamin C (ascorbic acid) is essential for the nervous system, and is concentrated a hundred times more in the cerebrospinal fluid compared to other body fluids.
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June 12th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Self-esteem is the elusive aspiration of most people. It is a confidence or self-satisfaction in oneself. Where does self-esteem come from? The people who are truly happy and comfortable with themselves are the ones who are able to live with and achieve what they want, not what they think others want. When people truly function in this manner, they are more pleasant to be around. They tend to be more generous, upbeat, and open-minded. They fulfill their own needs, but are careful to consider the needs of others.
People who possess self-esteem are strong and secure, meaning they can admit when they are wrong. They are not unraveled by criticism. Their self-confidence permeates into all aspects of their lives: their jobs, their education, their relationships, etc. After an in-depth study, the National Institute for Student Motivation even rated self-confidence as more influential in academic achievement than IQ.[1] Other studies have shown that self-esteem even impacts your income levels.[2]
Unfortunately, several studies show that Americans overall do not enjoy high self-esteem. Two out of three Americans suffer from varying levels of low self-esteem. In one survey of child development, 80 percent of children entering third grade said they felt good about themselves. By fifth grade, the number had dropped to 20 percent. By the last year of high school, only 5 percent of the seniors said that they felt good about themselves. To some degree, we all suffer from low self-esteem in different areas of our lives, whether it’s our IQ, our looks, our education, or how we look in a swimsuit. The short list of symptoms attributable to low self-esteem includes: inability to trust others, aggressive behavior, gossiping, resentment of others, criticism of others, inability to take criticism, defensiveness, procrastination, and inability to accept compliments.
There are two reasons why our culture suffers so greatly from low self-worth. First, media and advertising continuously show us how we should look, what we should drive, what we should smell like, etc. The message is that we are never good enough with what we are. We see images of grooming, fashion, popularity, and attractiveness to which we can never measure up. These images constantly remind us that we need to improve ourselves and that there is always someone better than us. Secondly, we judge and measure ourselves not against our own norm, but against some other individual’s norm. But because we think, believe, and assume that we should measure up to some other person’s norm, we feel miserable and second rate, concluding that there is something wrong with us.
Taken From : Maximum Influence : The 12 Universal Laws of power Persuasion
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June 9th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Selegiline can cause insomnia, so it should be taken in the morning as a single daily dose. The usual dose range is 5 to 15 mg daily, though it can be given up to 60 mg per day to healthy people without any major side effects. Selegiline’s action in inhibiting monoamine oxidase-B can make it toxic, but only in very high doses. Some physicians themselves use selegiline as an antiaging treatment. However, even among this group of people who can easily obtain medications, vitamin E is more popular. I have included selegiline as a second-level option in the Memory Program. Unlike vitamin E, selegiline is a prescription medication.
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June 6th, 2009 / No Comments » / by admin
Vitamin E is present in high-fat (but luckily, low-saturated fat) foods like vegetable oils, germs, nuts, and seeds.
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