Pride
Pride is the exact opposite of self-esteem. A prideful person gets no pleasure out of having something, but only out of having more of it, better or bigger than someone else’s, or something that no one else has. It is the comparison that makes you proud, the pleasure of being above the rest. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no lasting joy or fulfillment in pride. Peace and satisfaction will never come because the looming possibility of something or someone bigger and better coming along will always exist. One relishing their position at the top of the hill can never rest easy for too long.[4] Pride is a false sense of accomplishment because it is not based on true or pure motives. As C.S. Lewis observed, ‘‘Pride is a spiritual cancer; it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.’’
Pride is being secure in and taking pleasure in external things like possessions, degrees, influence, or position. People who have too much pride constantly compare themselves to others in an attempt to help them feel better about themselves. They love to gossip and pull others down. They are always concerned about who is right instead of what is right. They have a scarcity mentality that there never is enough for everyone. As Stephen R. Covey wrote, ‘‘An abundance mentality springs from an internal security, not from external rankings, comparisons, opinions, possessions, or associations.’’[5]
Self-esteem and pride are actually opposites, even though the terms are commonly thought to be interchangeable. Pride is usually a red flag for low self-esteem because people use it to cover their weaknesses and insecurities. People afflicted with pride usually have a low opinion of themselves. They often will bully or berate others to feel and manifest their own self-importance. With self-esteem, there is an internal security about who you are. You are fine with what you are and what you are doing. You like to help others and are not concerned with what people think. You like to lift others up and enjoy an abundance mentality.
Notice the comparisons between the two attributes:
Pride
Self-Esteem
External security
Internal security
Scarcity mentality
Abundance mentality
Comparisons to others
No need to compare
Value in possessions or positions
Value in self
Tears others down
Lifts others up
Concerned with who is right
Concerned with what is right
[4]Stephen R. Covey, Principle-Centered Leadership (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1990).
[5]Ibid.
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