Challenge to the Ego
Here’s another very effective technique. Anytime someone challenges your abilities, especially your abilities to do your business, what’s your immediate and instinctive reaction? To prove them wrong! Try politely expressing your concerns about your proposal and then watch the results. For example, if you said to a supervisor, ‘‘I’m not sure you’re able to get those reps of yours producing, so I may hire a consultant.’’ Don’t worry, that guy will be on it, pronto! Or when you say, ‘‘You probably don’t have the authority to pull this off,’’ the prospect will make sure to show you that he does indeed have that power! When employing this technique, however, be careful to avoid damaging the ego. When you cause damage instead of producing a challenge, you will create an air of indifference from your prospect.
Another challenge to someone’s ego is commonly used by sports coaches in a team environment. When during football practice a player is not putting in 100 percent, is late for meetings, or keeps making the same mistake, the coach has a perfect ego-based solution. He brings the team together and explains exactly what has happened with that particular player. He then has the whole team, except for the guilty player, run laps. This punishment is a challenge to the ego of this football player. Such a situation only has to happen once to be persuasive for each member of the team. Of course, the technique also works if the player also has to run with the whole team, but having him watch magnifies the results.
There are many challenging messages geared toward our egos. Think of a multilevel marketing meeting, where managers say they are looking for ‘‘go-getters’’ and ‘‘people who can take action.’’ Or what about a teacher who tells the student, ‘‘I’d like you to do these advanced assignments’’? I have seen sales representatives make a subtle attack on the prospect’s ego when they were not getting the sale. They simply say, ‘‘I guess you don’t have the authority to make that decision.’’ You should see the egos take action! Another example is giving people credit for things they don’t even know. When you give people credit for knowing something they really know nothing about, they generally will say nothing and allow you to believe them to be smarter or more aware than they really are. The catch is that they then will try to live up to the undeserved credit that you have bestowed upon them in order to lead you to believe they really are smart. You have heard such phrases as, ‘‘You probably already know. . . .’’ or ‘‘You will soon realize . . .’’ These are direct challenges to our egos.
Respond Instead of React
In persuasion, we are faced with the difficult task of building the egos of our listeners while placing our own egos on hold. In order to effectively persuade, you have to let go of your ego and focus on your objective. You don’t have time to mend a bruised ego. Check your ego at the door and remember your overriding purpose. Focus on persuasion, not on yourself.
[6]Maxwell and Dornan, Becoming a Person of Influence, p. 43.
[7]Science Newsletter, April 16, 1949.
[8 ]K. Erickson, The Power of Praise (St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1984), pp. 79–80.
Taken From : Maximum Influence : The 12 Universal Laws of power Persuasion
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