The Leverage of Praise
Sincere praise and compliments can have a powerful effect on people. Praise boosts one’s self-esteem. When you genuinely give praise, it releases energy in the other person. You have seen it and experienced it yourself. When you receive sincere compliments or praise, you get a smile on your face, your spirits soar, and you have a new aura about you.
Praise Others Daily
I think of all the funerals I have attended, and how all of them ended with beautiful eulogies. Why do we have to wait until someone is dead to say something nice about them? As Ra1ph Waldo Emerson put it, ‘‘Every man is entitled to be valued by his best moments.’’ Men will sacrifice their lives for praise, honor, and recognition. We crave and yearn for a boost to our esteem. We all wear an imaginary badge that says, ‘‘Please make me feel important.’’ It is criminal to withhold our praise when we see someone, especially children, do great and honorable things. Yet then when they do something wrong, we jump down their throats. Have you ever thought about how we would never think of physically harming someone or depriving them of food and water, yet often without reservation we hurt someone emotionally or deprive them of love and appreciation? George Bernard Shaw said, ‘‘The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them.’’ We should make it a habit to give genuine praise to someone every day. Don’t wait for a reason or for something big to happen. Be generous with your praise. Praise makes others more open to persuasion.
How to Give Sincere Praise
Always be sincere. Even the most cunning flatterer is ultimately detected and discovered. Complimenting someone sincerely for something small is better than complimenting someone insincerely for something big and grand. If, instead of being constantly self-focused, we are attentive to others, we will always find building moments where we can deliver honest and sincere praise. Even Napoleon figured out that men will die for blue ribbons. Men will sacrifice their lives for praise, honor, and recognition.
Often it is more effective to praise the specific act rather than the person. This way, your praise is attached to something distinct and concrete. It is harder to be interpreted as flattery or favoritism when there is a specific and concrete thing you have praised. General compliments may have temporary effect, but can incite jealousy from others and create even more insecurity in the recipient because that person is often not really sure what they did to deserve the compliment. Then they feel pressure to live up to the standard you have set, even though they’re not sure how or why it was set. They may even subconsciously fear that you will retract the praise because they don’t know how to keep it. Things really backfire when that person feels mistrustful toward you. Did you ever witness coworkers gathering to complain after a ‘‘pep rally’’ with the boss? Instead of feeling inspired and motivated, everyone griped about how the boss was full of it. Of course, during the meeting, everyone played along, because it was their job and they had to listen. When a boss asks you to do something you do it because you have to. When someone has influence or is a leader you do it because you want to.
So how do you effectively give someone a compliment they can live up to without feeling anxiety? Instead of barking at your assistant, ‘‘Why haven’t you finished these files?’’ say, ‘‘Thank you so much for helping me get these files done! I know I can count on you get them done in a timely manner.’’ Because the latter statement incorporates your assistant’s behavior into how you view her, you can be sure she’ll follow through. Consciously or subconsciously, she will want to maintain the apparent image you have of her. Consequently she will continue that pattern of behavior so as not to disappoint you.
As a manager or supervisor, your responsibility to praise and recognize your employees is paramount. Regularly communicate the organization’s changing objectives and priorities and show employees you feel they are important enough to be aligned with your goals. Invite new ideas from workers, stressing that there are always better ways to do every task. Trust workers by delegating responsibilities that give growth opportunities. Check with employees to determine what extra time or equipment they need, and work to provide them with these requests. Be fair to all. Playing favorites undermines morale. Praise each employee for any job well done; doing so orally is okay, but putting it in writing is even better. Want to know another plus? Sincere praise costs your organization absolutely nothing!
Taken From : Maximum Influence : The 12 Universal Laws of power Persuasion
This entry was posted on Saturday, July 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
